Saturday, March 8, 2014

Good Question: Making the Decision

Single Mamma's and Papa's, here's your chance to chime in... we've gotten a good question. If you are flying solo, answer how YOU do it in the comments section, or if you're a contributing blogger, log in and share your answer.

Here you go...

How did you know when you were ready to make the jump into being a single foster/adopted mama?  What needed to happen in your life before you took that step?

Foster Mamma
The decision for me came down to what I wanted my life to be like.  I was 30 years old, stable job, psychology degree, pretty financially stable, homeowner, living with amazing roommates, yet I felt like I was too old to not have any responsibility for or to any other human being.  I had always thought about working with kids who needed extra love and once I started thinking about it, it just made sense for me.  With the support of my family, I looked into it and had my first placement 5 months later.

For me, I had accomplished my educational goals and had my degrees, was living by myself in a house and had no prospects of any partner coming along soon!  I felt bored and lonely coming home every day to an empty house.  I desperately wanted to be a mom, but wasn't quite sure about adopting without having found a partner, so foster care seemed like the perfect path to take.  I could be a mom to kids who really needed one even if for only a short time.  It took a year to get licensed and my first placement of three boys ended up becoming my forever family two years later.  :)


  1. I am 27 and have wanted to foster and/or adopt for as long as I can remember. I just always thought that would happen after I was married. I am a teacher for students who are deaf or hard of hearing. Last year I had a student with a very troubled and scary home life. After making several calls about different incidents to DCFS, an investigation was underway. Considering this child's language needs and my bond with him, I decided that if he went into foster care, I wanted to his foster parent. Ultimately, as so many times is the case, he was left in the home, the family got a warning, and then moved to a different county where they could start over. I was devastated because I knew that the abuse would only continue. After that situation, I realized that there were so many kids who did need foster homes and if I was willing to make the leap for this child, I should just make the leap and trust that God would allow me to love whatever children were placed in my home.

    I have been licensed since May 2013 and got my first foster son in June. He has been with me almost 9 months now. In October, we added another little boy to our family so now I have a 4 year old foster son and a 2 1/2 year old foster son. This has been the most difficult and most rewarding adventure of my life. I don't regret any part of it.

  2. I had been feeling called to fostering for almost 10 years, but there always was a "reason" not to. I think a big part of me was always thinking that deciding to foster would be admitting defeat in the marriage department - that it would mean accepting that I would never get married. At 36 years old, I began to feel truly hopeless about my future with a man and having children. Then I decided that although I had no control over when (or if) the right man would come into my life, I could take control over becoming a mother. So that's what had to happen - I had to end up in a place of such hopelessness to be able to take the leap into becoming a single foster parent.

    I started the whole process over eight months ago, and I am still waiting on my foster care license.

  3. Looking forward to following your blog and journey Allison! Sounds like lots of us had similar thoughts that we would be doing this with a partner. I LOVE how strong and brave us single parents are, when things don't go as planned, we just take it into our own hands :)


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