Saturday, March 8, 2014

Good Question: Making the Decision

Single Mamma's and Papa's, here's your chance to chime in... we've gotten a good question. If you are flying solo, answer how YOU do it in the comments section, or if you're a contributing blogger, log in and share your answer.

Here you go...

How did you know when you were ready to make the jump into being a single foster/adopted mama?  What needed to happen in your life before you took that step?

Foster Mamma
The decision for me came down to what I wanted my life to be like.  I was 30 years old, stable job, psychology degree, pretty financially stable, homeowner, living with amazing roommates, yet I felt like I was too old to not have any responsibility for or to any other human being.  I had always thought about working with kids who needed extra love and once I started thinking about it, it just made sense for me.  With the support of my family, I looked into it and had my first placement 5 months later.

Bessy
For me, I had accomplished my educational goals and had my degrees, was living by myself in a house and had no prospects of any partner coming along soon!  I felt bored and lonely coming home every day to an empty house.  I desperately wanted to be a mom, but wasn't quite sure about adopting without having found a partner, so foster care seemed like the perfect path to take.  I could be a mom to kids who really needed one even if for only a short time.  It took a year to get licensed and my first placement of three boys ended up becoming my forever family two years later.  :)

3 comments:

  1. I am 27 and have wanted to foster and/or adopt for as long as I can remember. I just always thought that would happen after I was married. I am a teacher for students who are deaf or hard of hearing. Last year I had a student with a very troubled and scary home life. After making several calls about different incidents to DCFS, an investigation was underway. Considering this child's language needs and my bond with him, I decided that if he went into foster care, I wanted to his foster parent. Ultimately, as so many times is the case, he was left in the home, the family got a warning, and then moved to a different county where they could start over. I was devastated because I knew that the abuse would only continue. After that situation, I realized that there were so many kids who did need foster homes and if I was willing to make the leap for this child, I should just make the leap and trust that God would allow me to love whatever children were placed in my home.

    I have been licensed since May 2013 and got my first foster son in June. He has been with me almost 9 months now. In October, we added another little boy to our family so now I have a 4 year old foster son and a 2 1/2 year old foster son. This has been the most difficult and most rewarding adventure of my life. I don't regret any part of it.

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  2. I had been feeling called to fostering for almost 10 years, but there always was a "reason" not to. I think a big part of me was always thinking that deciding to foster would be admitting defeat in the marriage department - that it would mean accepting that I would never get married. At 36 years old, I began to feel truly hopeless about my future with a man and having children. Then I decided that although I had no control over when (or if) the right man would come into my life, I could take control over becoming a mother. So that's what had to happen - I had to end up in a place of such hopelessness to be able to take the leap into becoming a single foster parent.

    I started the whole process over eight months ago, and I am still waiting on my foster care license.
    www.homenowheartforever.blogspot.com

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  3. Looking forward to following your blog and journey Allison! Sounds like lots of us had similar thoughts that we would be doing this with a partner. I LOVE how strong and brave us single parents are, when things don't go as planned, we just take it into our own hands :)

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