Friday, May 31, 2013

My journey to becoming a Single Foster and Adoptive Mom

Hello everyone, I'm Bessy and I blog over at Young, Single, and Adopting and Living a RAD Life.  I am so excited to share in this community of single mommas and papas!  It takes a special kind of heart to take on this journey by ourselves!

I always knew I wanted to adopt, from the time I was a young girl I had been fascinated by adoption. My mom had been adopted as an infant so I understood from a young age that adoption was just another way to come into a family.  Shortly after high school my best friend placed her beautiful baby girl for adoption and I was blessed to be along for the ride of finding an adoptive family.

I had always imagined that my life would go like this:  Go to college, find my husband, adopt a lot of kids, live happily ever after.  So imagine my surprise when college came and went and no husband had magically appeared.  There had been some serious relationships, some that I thought might even be heading towards marriage.  However, adoption always seemed to be a sticking point.  I thought I could make the relationship work that they would eventually come around to the idea of adoption, but wouldn't you know they were all pretty insistent on just having kids "of their own".  Not that I was opposed to the idea of having children birthed from my own loins, but I wanted to adopt first.  So off I went graduating college, still thinking my husband would be right around the corner.  A few years went by and I realized that I still felt a strong desire to have children in my home.  I figured that becoming a foster parent would allow me to fulfill the desires of motherhood while waiting for a husband that would share my desires to adopt. 

So at 27 years old, I went through my local county agency, completed the classes and homestudy, and was licensed.  Two weeks later I got a call for a sibling group of three boys who needed a place for the weekend.  They were 5, 21 months, and 7 weeks old at the time.  The joke was on me :)  Three years later they are still here and are now my forever children!  We are still dealing with the effects of their early childhood trauma and struggle with RAD, PTSD, ADHD, and Bipolar issues, but have made tons of progress. I still haven't found a husband and quite frankly I'm fine with that at this point in our lives.  We are in the process of opening back up our home to more foster children and are open to adopting again (fingers crossed it's a girl!).  If the right person comes along, great, but for now I am enjoying being a Mommy :)

Read all posts by Bessy

5 comments:

  1. Bessy, so fun to read your story all compacted like this. I wonder how many of us started as "just fosters" and ended up adopting the sweet little ones who joined our lives. :) Love it. Your boys look pretty sweet from the back. What ages are you open to fostering/adopting?

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is such a hard question! I go back and forth all the time. My dream placement would be an infant girl with two older siblings under 10. Right now I've told them I will accept 0-8 years possibly older if it is a sibling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How many kids are you open to? 0-3 kids?

      Delete
  3. Yes, I think 3 more is my limit for now :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 6 kids?! I am impressed that you are open to that. :)

      Delete

We are friends here. Share your heart, your thoughts, questions or comments, but keep it respectful or comment will be deleted.